Sound Off!!

Anytime you find yourself in the company of someone who is consistently challenging your growth as well as your evolution into becoming a better person, they are toxic and you should rid yourself of them.

Just because you are aware of certain situations and or were raised around them doesn’t make you one of them. Speaking from a place of blatant disregard may be okay with some but I personally take offense to it.
Image
Some may shuck & jive to your song but I for one am not impressed in the least.
Your disrespect of others is faster than most blink and people laugh, because they are too weak to check you on it.

I don’t give passes to anyone. It’s irrelevant where you are from or who you are friends with.
Going to & knowing people from the hood doesn’t qualify you as being hood.

You are nothing but an opportunist.
Your prey on what you perceive to be another’s weakness.
You take recklessness to unimaginable heights.

Your mouth will surely write a check that your ass can’t cash.
Watching your rubbery ass bounce will illicit smiles for miles.

Disrespect by any other name is disrespect.
You can post as many profound googled quotes as the web offers,
you are and always will be a sorry ass excuse for a human being.

Your lack of couth & the levels of disdain you exhibit are intolerable.
You are a bonafide Asshole.
Sorry Asshole, for aligning you with such poor company.

That being said, you will now be blocked.
#EndOfStory

Karma

 

 

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

 


Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work.

I noticed when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not too much of a problem. 

Though this is a joke, always remember what goes around, indeed comes back around!

***This Joke was swiped from JCB “Carter’s’ Facebook Page***rofl

The Erectus Trouserius

The Erectus Trouserius (or the trouser snake) is the world’s most dangerous snake….

Colors vary anywhere from pink to black. It’s fangless, average length is 5 – 6 inches; although some are rumored to reach 8 or more inches (depending on the honesty of it’s owner).

It usually appears in bedrooms and attacks women in the mouth, lower abdominal area and sometimes the butt.

It’s highly venomous spit can cause swelling that lasts from 6 to 9 months.

Infection can occur if proper protection is not worn while handling.

Some species have also been known to attack men from behind…

Don’t, I repeat, Don’t be caught off Guard!!!

FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO WARN others!…..

Happy Father’s Day!

Happy Father’s Day! You deserve to be told how Special you are everyday! May you have the Happiest Fathers Day Ever! Continue to do the right thing, always, regardless of adversity.

At times the journey may be rough, its not about how many time you’ve fallen, its about your tenacity to get back up and keep trying!

We appreciate you 4 all you’ve done and will continue to do. Keep your head up!
Enjoy ur day!
Be blessed, Che’ xoxo

Author Rory D. Sheriff

Author Rory D. Sheriff

 
Author Rory D. Sheriff
Rory D. Sheriff is a man of many words, many talents as well. Quite the character, he is very rambunctious 
with an infectious laugh. He is extremely funny, a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles Fan (Ode to his hometown),
loves to dance ( Watch out Master P) ((ROFL)), he would like to appear on Dancing With The Stars very soon!
As for singing, he has said that if he could sing "Barry White or Neyo wouldn't have anything on me!" 
Didn't I say he was Funny? When he's not making everyone ROFL, he's either busy at home being the 
World's Greatest Daddy or cranking out Masterpieces.

Rory has starred in several stage productions, the last, being a major play "A Soldier's Story" 
he played the role of the Character Corporal Cobb.
Given his theatrical background, I wouldn't be surprised if the title of playwright was soon added 
to his list of accomplishments.

Rory is a huge advocate of civil and human rights, having once aspired to be an Attorney.
He is fluent in Spanish & German. Maybe he'll pen 1 of his masterpieces in either of those 
languages pretty soon...

This former Army Vet, turned On Air Radio Personality turned Author / Actor
Majored in Mass Communications in College after being honorably discharged from the US Army.
Rory honed his skill as an intern at Philadelphia’s Power 99 where he was mentored by 
one of the stations most familiar voices, better known as Golden Boy, it was during this time that
he discovered he had a gift for writing.
Starting with poetry, Sheriff became inspired to write by the simple thing in life and current
events only to find that before long he had notebooks full of poetry stacked around his room. 

His literary influences include authors Omar Tyree, Mary B. Morrison, James McBride and Zane to name a few.
Rory's unique way with words, creative expressions and ultra vivid imagination embarked him on the journey 
to write what would become his first novel, Get’n Serious. 

Rory masterfully chronicles the tale of Dontae Serious Moseley, the main character who desperately 
desires to be a family man but is haunted by his womanizing past. 
Dontae, ever the equal opportunity lover, beds a plethora of women from an ambassador, to his bosses'
 little sister, he even forays into the wickedly wild and sensuous world of gigolos. 

Rory delves deeply into the world of erotica, romance, drama and comedy. Though he claims that none of the
characters are based on him personally, he admits that they "all share a part of him". Rory pushes the social envelope with
taboo topics, such as infidelity with a preacher’s wife.
To date Rory has penned Get'n Serious, Get'n Serious (2) - My Addiction, Yadira's Sky and the
forthcoming novel, Conniving, as well as a host of yet untitled works.

His novels are a force to be reckoned with.
Watch out World, Rory D Sheriff is here to stay!

Rory D Sheriff has quickly asserted him self as the New Sheriff in Town!
Rory's books are available on Nook and Kindle. 

*** If you don't have a Kindle but would like to purchase the ebooks,
you can get the Kindle App free for the following: computer/laptop, iPhone, Mac, Blackberry, iPad,
 Android, or Windows Phone 7
Here is the download link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_ipad_mkt_lnd?docId=1000493771

Check Rory out at www.brandnewsheriff.com
Follow him on Twitter @brandnewsheriff
Facebook.com/rorysheriff

๑Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ๑ Che'๑Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ๑
Bipolar N Lovin' it!
Follow me on Twitter @bipolarboo

Trini Pick Up Lines

Trini pick up lines:
(*) Gyul yuh have more form dan a secondary school
(*) Yuh like a barb wire fence, ah cyah get ova yuh
(*) You is de dhal in my dhalpourie, without you, I sada
(*) Yuh lookin like a lobster, all de meat in yuh tail
(*) Of all my sugars you’re the most granulated
(*) Baby yuh like a table, ah jus wa ress sumting on yuh
(*) Yuh fadda is ah terrorist cuz you is de bomb
(*) My name is Doug. Tha’s ‘god’ spell backwards wit ‘u’ in de middle
(*) Meh love for yuh like diarrhea, ah jus cyah hol it in
(*) Gyul yuh parents hadda be retarded cuz yuh special
(*) Ah hope yuh come wit ah library card cuz ah checkin yuh out
(*) Yuh fadda does cut cane? How yuh sweet so?
(*) Family yuh look fine, yuh does only eat tin food or wha?

Allyuh Trini Nuh Ez Nah Man!

I’ll remain hopelessly bipolar,
Che’ xoxo

Yardie Sex

This Jamaican woman felt that her love life was slipping because her husband had no more interest in sex.

While shopping one day, she passed an adult shop and saw some crotchless panties,

so she decided to buy one and try to use it to excite and seduce him.

That evening she took a long bath, put on a favorite perfume, and then she put on a sexy negligee and her new crotchless panties.

Then she slithered into the room where her husband was watching TV as usual.

She stands right in front of him, with one foot resting high on the ottoman, negligee wide open,

and whispers “yu wah some a dis?”.

Her husband looks up at her wide-eyed and says. “No sah, yu mad, yuh nuh see wha it ah do to yu panty!”

Ladies Prayer

Ladies’ Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep. Please no wrinkles, Please no bags and please lift my butt before it sags.

Please no age spots, Please no gray and as for my belly, Please take it away. Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young, and Thank You Dear Lord, For all that you have done.
Amen!!!

#TeamCapricorn

We are mere days away from #CapricornSeason!

Join #TeamCapricorn as we celebrate ourselves!

Be prepared to RT S/O’s, Facts & Tributes to the team!

Timelines will be flooded, be forewarned!

Please take a minute to post your Twitter name & birthday to get a birthday shout out!

Our Time is Here!

#TeamCapricorn Rocks!!!

Che’ Jan 10th :) ;) :D

A West Indian Kid’s Letter To Santa

*** I didn’t write this, I swear!***

A West Indian Kid’s Letter to Santa lol

Dear Santa, I know yuh probly wonderin why I writin yuh on Boxing Day but, after opening meh presents and dem yesterday, I just had to write yuh.

Santa, ah was a real good gyul all year round. Ah lissen to meh muddah when she talk to meh, ah help out with house wuk, ah even help de neighbor chilrren and dem do dey chaws too. Ah help dat old Mr.George across d road when d oddah chilrren just watch him and leave him dey. Santa, ah study hard in school dis year u know.

So hard, that ah come fuss in meh class. Santa, when ah write meh Christmas List to yuh, ah axk yuh for a Barbie princess doll, ah Barbie kitchen, ah Dora the Explorer computer game, an ah monopoly.

So Santa how de ass after reading meh list you would leave under d blasted Christmas tree ah shity light up Yo-Yo, ah muddacunt plastic tea-set and ah focking no name dolly lookin like she have Polio.

Santa is like yuh focking blind or yuh cyah read! Every focking year ah say ah would stop believing in yuh fat mampey ass and like ah Fool ah does always give yuh ah nex chance but not ah Fockin gain.

Yuh damn blasted fat ass dead with me, yuh hear what ah say, yuh dead. Ah go wait for yuh muddah ass next year, yuh better don’t try to squeeze yuh fat blubba ass thru meh louvres, because Santa Ah swear ah go Fock yuh up, it go be me, you and a tamarind branch.

Just imagine, you give that little cokey eye, knock knee, muddacunt Nicole from across de road, everything that she axe for, till she doh even have room to walk around she house. And Santa, yuh see you and dem stchupid Reindeer and dem, allyuh better tink twice bout landing on my house next year, especially dat Focking Red nose prick Rudolph, ah go stone he muddacunt, yuh go have to walk back to d focking north pole when ah done with dem.

I swear nex year, ah waiting patiently for yuh blasted fat ass to come Ho Hoin on my galvanise roof ah go do fuh yuh ah promise watch and see, yuh mudda cunt … Merry Christmas

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