MYOFBB!


Okay folks it’s about that time again, where I bring you yet another installment of the never-ending saga of bipolarboo…

Today’s entry starts off like any other day, cool, calm & collected, the epitome of me…(Most days)

THE CAST:

My babies, Jeland & Ja’de’, ages 9 & 7 years old respectively were doing what they do best, being kids, horse playing and not listening, as we entered Big Lots I pulled them to the side and gave them the instruction of the day, don’t cut up or I’ll beat the brakes off your ass, in the Store, while everyone is watching and laughing.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking, but oh well…

You see my kids are fearless, so any other instructions would not have worked, but I have convinced them that  I am indeed crazy and would not hesitate to beat them in public, so they usually act right.

Or so I thought…

After about 5 mins in the store the drama unfolded, Bad (Jeland) was pushing the shopping cart as Worse (Ja’de’) rode on the front of the cart, as I rounded the corner and caught them, they instantly stopped.

Sidebar Yes, “The Look” still works!

I decided not to comment as they had previously been instructed on what was expected of them. 2 minutes later Bad is crying, “Mami Worse punched me”, I looked at him and replied “knock it off”, a minute or so after he pushes the cart into a shelf and she falls, she’s laughing, little dare-devil (omit the dare) that she is.

Worse shoves the cart and hits Bad in the tummy. Needless to say he crying. So I said “you 2 need to knock the bullshit off before I take my belt off (I wasn’t wearing a belt) and beat you.” (Somber stares)

As I’m entering the next aisle I hear someone saying “she needs to watch her language, no wonder you act like fucking animals!!!”

Pause.

Queue EXTRA:

Rewind.

I back up and go back over to the aisle where my kids are standing there watching some big disgusting ass broad is in their faces, finger waging, spitting, talking shit about me.

Play.

I take a breath and ask “What the fuck did you just say bitch? Why are you all up in my kids faces cussin’ & spittin’ & Shit? Do you know them?”

Dramatic introduction, I know.

Now mind you this fucking Junior Gorg Fraggle Rock looking ass fuckin reject bitch, replete with the stench was standing nearby when they whole incident unfolded. Not only did this coward hoe ass bitch not say shit to me, she was now in my kids faces, cussin’, spitting and everything.

Wrong move bitch!

Action!

So she looks up like the Devil herself had just appeared, and to be honest, maybe she had ;-p , I was about to kick some serious ass in the middle of Big Lots!

She said “I was just talking to the kids.” No this hoe didn’t! You cussin at my kids like you aint got no mother fuckin’ sense?

Pause.

Call my brother, he’s an attorney, hit “Q” on my Blackberry that’ll speed dial the Bail bonds man.  Hit “B”  my Peepz runnin’ down on you, str8 like that! ( I stay ready.)

Play.

I quickly closed the gap between me and the Sasquatch, now I’m standing inches from her face, I ever so calmly, in barely a whisper said to her ” I suggest you get your fucking hand out of their faces before you draw back a nub, further more it’s advisable that you vacate the premises as it’s not safe in here right now, wild animals are roaming free and I wouldn’t want you to fall prey to them.”

I smiled and walked away.

Fast Forward.

That bitch hauled ass up out of that store. The shit would have been hilarious if I were in a laughing mood.

Needless to say I was not.

When kids are acting up in public the 1st think people think is that their parent’s aren’t doing anything about their behavior, let’s be honest, we have all thought that at 1 point or another.

But to get in someone’s child’s face is definitely a no no!

I am a very unconventional parent, the things I say to my kids are not always right, but I know what works.

More importantly, how dare you undermine my authority? How fuckin’ dare you?

If you felt that you absolutely had to say something about how I addressed the situation you could have pulled me to the side and offered some constructive criticism.
NOT!!!
 Instead you almost wound up being Flatlined in the store by a bipolar bitch who quite frankly doesn’t give 2 fucks about what anyone says or thinks about her.

A few people came up to me afterwards like “good for you, she was just being a busybody”, ” Great job standing up for yourself”, “Damn ma you scared her ass shitless”, regardless of their comments, I was unphased.

These are my kids and they will not be acting the fool in Public, I don’t play that shit.

So far, I have taken away their Nintendo DSI’s and Digi Cams. So it’s not like I let them do whatever they want to and they don’t have consequences for their actions, far from it. I don’t play!

The moral of my story is mind your own fuckin’ business bitch!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

ROLL CREDITS!

CUT!

ITS A WRAP!

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One thought on “MYOFBB!

  1. great post boo!…you weren’t havin NONE of that big-ass bitches shit…sounds exactly like something i would do if put in your position – you really let her have it…YOU GO GIRL!!! =]~

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