I’m just sayin’


Have you ever met someone who is constantly blaming others for everything that goes wrong in their life?

It is never their fault, always someone else’s.

Every one is always “hating” on them.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are bona fide “haters” out there, who no matter what you do, the can find fault and criticize any and everything. 

I know someone who is constantly involved in drama, gossips nonstop, spreads vicious rumors and is constantly saying that everyone is “hating on her”. We all know someone like this and to be quite honest, maybe we’ve been this person, to some extent or another.

Being a person of a certain age, one would think that “you” would be adult enough to handle most situations in a mature manner. But I guess, despite the age, “you” are still a child. (Apologies to the Children.)

Once a man twice a child, has that come full circle? 

Every 5 seconds you ramble  on and on about someone hating on you. Really who has the time? You’ve done nothing constructive with your life, so to me it isn’t worth a second glance…

(Is this you?) It could be….

Belittling and besmirching another’s character as a means of boosting your self confidence is yet another example of what you truly think of yourself.

The things that ARE being said about you, as hurtful and harsh as they may be, are true.

You sit “there”, wallowing in self pity, blaming everyone but yourself for your failed relationships, friendships or marriage. You need to be an adult and take responsibility for your actions or lack thereof, devise a plan of action to overcome the obstacles in your life.

You thrive on drama, you continually invite it into your cipher. You are constantly at odds with someone. You constantly betray everyone’s trust. You are not a victim.

Take stock of your life, if you are the common denominator in a series of “incidents”, it would be reasonable to believe that you are the catalyst for these occurrences. No one is targeting you. You bring these situations on yourself.

You wonder why turmoil comes to you like a heat seeking missile. You constantly try to monopolize situations, yet you lack the tenacity to finesse this.

It’s irrelevant what you look like on the outside, clothes do not make the “man”.  Beauty is skin deep, but self hatred seeps into the depths of your soul and then manifests its self as a bad attitude. You are miserable and it shows.

We all have things about our life we’d like or need to change. Start now, there’s no time like the present.

Misery loves company, at this time I respectfully decline this and any future invitations into your world of indigence.

You need to focus your energies on something that is constructive, positive and edifying, take up a hobby or something. Volunteer.

You can’t keep doing the same things but expect different results….

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got, which isn’t much!

It’s a never ending cycle.

Seek professional help. 

It is what it is….

Inshallah,

Che’

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10 thoughts on “I’m just sayin’

  1. yes very true… i have encountered some people who blame others and yet they cannot see the true misery of their everyday issues that they let overwhelm them…love reading your blogs hunn…

  2. This was the best ode to Haters I’ve read in a long time, if ever! Thank you for putting into words what we all need to say to that one person who creates their own misery day in and day out. I chose to distance myself from a few of these types in the past and I know it was the right decision not only because if the amount of peace I’ve added but the quality of productive and loving relationships that I am now able to cultivate. Thank You for your words of wisdom and your ability to hold the mirror up to each person who needs a slight reality check!

  3. Wow, I think all of us have had people in our lives that fit this description… If your a “giver” like me or always seem to be the one rescuing friends and wanting to make things better for people it’s not always as easy to spot this person. I have been sucked into peoples drama before time and time again w/out questioning whether or not the person is really in need of help. I seem to always want to give the person the benefit of the doubt before assuming that it’s all made up drama solely for attention. Your blog is direct and to the point and I love that! I am going to print this out and hang it in my office as a reminder that hanging around people who are negative all the time is toxic and I can do better!
    Thank you!

  4. Good post. I know a couple of people who fit this description. And funny thing is they are men. not saying Id expect this from a woman. But I would expect a man to man up. But some just dont.

  5. Very well said Che’ and very true. The problem is this personality type doesn’t look at themselves, they are quick to judge others in an attempt to take the focus off of themselves. But what they are really doing is revealing their transparency for those of us who know and see what they are doing. This personality type also goes hand-in-hand with lying as they tell their big long tale of woe and blame someone else for their miserable lot in life. They will only seek professional help when they truly look at themselves and for many, that is a scary task. I feel sorry for this type of person because they are not living their life to their fullest potential, and they truly do not know how to look at themselves due to one or a combination of: fear, poor self-image, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, poor upbringing, and a host of many other negative characteristics which were quite possibly bestowed upon them. They do not know the difference yet because they have not allowed themselves to realize that they hold the key to their own prison they created for themselves. I have said in the past there is no such thing as resolve in blame. One must be the captain of one’s own ship. Playing the victim is not surviving your past, it is keeping you there, thus not moving forward and truly living. Death is more universal than life because everyone dies but not everyone truly lives. My wish is they can see themselves before they die and leave something positive, their legacy so to speak, for the people who are in their lives, especially their children. They are not bad people, they just do not understand themselves. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Che’.

  6. Nice post, guess I’d better start focusing all my positive energies. I’ll start by saying thank you 🙂

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