The Independent Woman

This is yet another installment in the never ending saga of Bipolarboo.

Today’s topic is the Independent Woman. Jamie Foxx & Neyo definitely had a Smash Hit on their hands with that Song.

It became an anthem of sorts. It also fueled a lot of misgivings on the part of some men, and I do use that term loosely! Just because a woman is independent, financially secure and has a lot going for herself, should not mean that she has to bear the brunt of the weight in a relationship. A lot of the male species has quite literally taken this song to heart and now expect a woman to be responsible for everything in the relationship, be it a booty call, casual dating or a committed relationship.

This is yet another excuse to disguise the fact that you have not yet fully matured and don’t truly know what it is to be a man. A real man. This guy once told me he takes on the roll of a woman in a relationship.


I asked him to elaborate. He said when they’re in the store he’ll get what he wants then set it on the counter and walk away so that she has to pay for it. Back da fuck up! You what? That’s just some bitch shit right there. His shit would sit on that counter. I don’t know who instilled his values, or the lack thereof, but that brand of fuckery doesn’t work for me. At all!!!  ***He’s since been Blocked***

Now don’t get me wrong. I’ll treat my guy. Most definitely, but make no mistake I am no one’s meal ticket! AT ALL!!!

My cousin was talking to this guy she met on Facebook, he kept texting her asking when they were gonna hook up, she’d reply “soon.” One day he texted asking the same question, I replied “when are you gonna take me out?”, his reply was “whenever you’re treating.” Two days later same question, I again asked when are you gonna take me out, he replied “when I get some money.” This time he repeated the question in all caps, “WHEN ARE WE GONNA HOOK UP?”, I replied “WHEN YOU GET SOME MONEY!!!!”

At times I think that as women when we lower our expectations it causes us to be cheated, because some men figure that they’re never gonna give anyone their all and so they feel comfortable enough to not try at all and expect you to accept it, the thing is often we do. Now I’m not knocking all men, some of you are indeed trying to be the very best that you can be and for that I applaud you. But for the others that think they can, for the lack of a better term, “pimp” a female, shame on you. In this economy many of us are having issues keeping food on our tables, roofs above our heads & the utilities on, so the very last thing we are concerned about is wining and dining the way we once may have been able to. There are a lot of inexpensive alternatives available. Group dates have now become an option. Going to the boardwalk, the Park, outdoor activities, its the Summertime there’s a lot that can be done. That is if you’re at all interested. Some of you just want to fast track to the sex, that’s cool if the other person knows & agrees to it. More power to you. Some of us would like to get to know you.

My Father treated my Mother well, he held opened doors for her, pulled out her chair and took great care of our family. That was my first example of what a man should be like, Thank you Dad, I love you. As a woman, I would like to have a man in my life that can do all of those things for me. In return he will be treated in kind. But in Society today that may just be asking too much. A lot of men weren’t fortunate enough to have had the right sense of values instilled in them. There are way more single parent households, children in foster care etc. Seemingly values are no longer relevant.

As an adult, I have learned so much from just observing others, I have learned a lot from their mistakes and pain. As I’ve said on numerous occasions, I am a work in progress. Constantly evolving. I think when you know better you SHOULD do better. Even though some of us weren’t taught a lot of the “right” things you should strive to be better, take the best part for you.

Kudos to All of the Independent Women.

Kudos to All The Real Men, who know how to treat a woman.

So in closing I’ll say: If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. You cant keep doing the same things but expect different results.

***Anonymous ***

Until I rant again, I remain, hopelessly bipolar

Che’ xoxo


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4 thoughts on “The Independent Woman

  1. Applause for some great points made here. I just recently blogged about 3 wacko dates that never happened because they resembled your cousin’s experience. I’m still hopeful there is someone in the future. Until our paths cross I am actively living my best life!
    Smooches =)

  2. I am not as young as you (my daughter just celebrated her 21st!), so it is perhaps expected that I would be shocked by this behavior on the part of men. It does seem to me there are an awful lot of them who show no interest in growing up.

    I divorced one with a somewhat similar problem. He actually worked very hard, but somehow never managed to make much money. When I realized I was doing 80% of the housework, 90% of the childrearing (tho he was a good dad), virtually all of the shopping and most of the cooking, and making 80% of our income and getting no emotional support, that was it!

    I’m in my 50s and single as a result, a little bit lonely now that my nest is empty. I’ll have to make do with the Chihuahua!


  3. Wow! Never came across that kind of man (if that’s what you can call em). I usually find the ones that say they want an independent woman but they can’t handle that I have myself together and know what I want.

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