*** I didn’t write this, I swear!***
A West Indian Kid’s Letter to Santa lol
Dear Santa, I know yuh probly wonderin why I writin yuh on Boxing Day but, after opening meh presents and dem yesterday, I just had to write yuh.
Santa, ah was a real good gyul all year round. Ah lissen to meh muddah when she talk to meh, ah help out with house wuk, ah even help de neighbor chilrren and dem do dey chaws too. Ah help dat old Mr.George across d road when d oddah chilrren just watch him and leave him dey. Santa, ah study hard in school dis year u know.
So hard, that ah come fuss in meh class. Santa, when ah write meh Christmas List to yuh, ah axk yuh for a Barbie princess doll, ah Barbie kitchen, ah Dora the Explorer computer game, an ah monopoly.
So Santa how de ass after reading meh list you would leave under d blasted Christmas tree ah shity light up Yo-Yo, ah muddacunt plastic tea-set and ah focking no name dolly lookin like she have Polio.
Santa is like yuh focking blind or yuh cyah read! Every focking year ah say ah would stop believing in yuh fat mampey ass and like ah Fool ah does always give yuh ah nex chance but not ah Fockin gain.
Yuh damn blasted fat ass dead with me, yuh hear what ah say, yuh dead. Ah go wait for yuh muddah ass next year, yuh better don’t try to squeeze yuh fat blubba ass thru meh louvres, because Santa Ah swear ah go Fock yuh up, it go be me, you and a tamarind branch.
Just imagine, you give that little cokey eye, knock knee, muddacunt Nicole from across de road, everything that she axe for, till she doh even have room to walk around she house. And Santa, yuh see you and dem stchupid Reindeer and dem, allyuh better tink twice bout landing on my house next year, especially dat Focking Red nose prick Rudolph, ah go stone he muddacunt, yuh go have to walk back to d focking north pole when ah done with dem.
I swear nex year, ah waiting patiently for yuh blasted fat ass to come Ho Hoin on my galvanise roof ah go do fuh yuh ah promise watch and see, yuh mudda cunt … Merry Christmas