When a relationship ends without closure
There are Always questions, guilt, hurt feelings, blame, you name it.
When closure is unavailable, your mind runs the gamut of what could have been done differently, you replay every scenario, freeze framing every segment.
You over analyze everything. One of the most common mistakes is looking for someone to blame. This is a very vicious cycle. Each will point fingers at the other, no one wants to be at fault for what has transpired..
Truthfully, there should be accountability on both parts. Usually there were things that were done & said during the course of the relationship that contributed to the end result.
Sometimes in order to move forward
you need to let go of what’s holding you back.
The validation that you seek may not be forthcoming. Don’t wait in vain for something that may never happen.
You have to forgive. You must first forgive yourself, because whether you may readily admit it or not you feel like you’ve had some part to play in the demise of the relationship.
Often times we feel stupid for allowing ourselves to have fallen for someone who we believed have hurt us. Love does that. But rest assured they didn’t escape unscathed either.
Though you may think that they weren’t affected, if they had feelings for you, it can’t be easy for them either. Many of us have different communication & reflection styles, so because they haven’t vocalized it, doesn’t necessarily mean it isn’t weighing heavily on their minds.
So you may not ever get the apology or acknowledgment you are so desperately seeking. Prepare yourself. It may never come, that’s a reality you may have to face. Sad but true.
Forgiving doesn’t mean that you’re forgetting what happened; it simply means that you’re acknowledging that the past wasn’t good nor will it ever change.
Forgive them for whatever wrong you believe they have done to you. Be it disrespect, taking you for granted, deception, infidelity, lack of concern or support or responsibility, whatever it may have been. Your feelings are yours, they’re valid!
But you must forgive them, in order to start the healing process.
Let it go. While its easier said than done, more often than not it can’t be easy, especially when feelings are involved. Love is 1 of the most beautiful things in the world, but once it goes awry it can get ugly.
You need to make a conscious decision to not feed into that vicious cycle. The world needn’t be privy to your every trial & tribulation.
Forgive them in your heart, release yourself from the bonds of baggage, carrying grudges poisons your mind, body, soul & spirit.
Having unrealistic expectations hurts everyone involved. It won’t happen overnight. If they ever truly meant something to you; know that its going to take some time to get over it, some days will be better than others.
Love often hurts. A lot!
Anything worth having is worth fighting for. You won’t win every fight.
Know that nothing lasts forever. Everything has an expiration date. It is said its better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all.
To all the healing hearts know that this was a lesson learned, to prepare you for something even greater. Don’t let hatred consume you. Forgive and move on, don’t let it impair your growth.
Sometimes it isn’t that either party isn’t a good person, its just that you two may not have been compatible, or due to circumstances beyond either’s control it didn’t work out.
Don’t ever be too quick to judge, after all in love & war full disclosures are seldom made.
Sometimes you have to give another the freedom to grow, never impede another’ growth process.
Roses have been known to grow from the concrete 😉
Always remember that a diamond is a rock that stood up to extreme pressure!
So shine & dazzle on my Diamonds!
Don’t ever give up on love!
Open your heart to love & be loved again 🙂
Say it with me
*****I FORGIVE YOU!!! *****
If they won’t allow you to say it, write it out then burn it!
Living, Laughing & Learning
(Love will come again one day) 😉
I’ll remain hopelessly bipolar,