Being Bipolar

Racing thoughts abound;
watch them as they swirl around,
can’t stop their endless flow;
uncertain as to where they’ll go…

You see I’m just simply bipolar,
While there’s no set formula,
I’m definitely far from regular
At times I’m very peculiar,

The bi in my diagnoses,
Isn’t what the masses see,
It just refers to the polarity,
Sudden mood changes especially,

But the bi only refers to two,
Multi would best describe the slew,
Most wouldn’t even have a clue,
Of the vast changes that I go thru

Teetering on the verge of insanity,
Precociously dangling on a bunjee ,
Harnesses not latched securely,
Imminent demise is a certainty.

Coursing thru life ignored & undetected,
Feeling so hurt & dejected
More often than not so neglected,
Longing to 1 day be respected…

So many words were left unspoken;
So many promises that were broken;
So many desires never awakened,
And my existence remains forsaken.

This disorder isn’t at all glamorous,
Or even remotely humorous,
Its effects are so numerous,
Left untreated its dangerous!

So if I should die tonight,
please know that I fought the fight,
Though noone even heard my plight,
I have tried to do what’s right….

Seek help before its too late,
This dx shouldn’t seal your fate,
Don’t think it will dissipate,
Trust me I can relate…

Che’ #BPB™


7 thoughts on “Being Bipolar

  1. Your poem is perfect! My wife and I lost our 18-year old son last year. He took his own life. Our youngest, 12, has bipolar disorder as well. Pierce has been on medication for around 4-years. It’s such a long story. Our website is not interactive at this point.

    Just wanted to say that we’re beginning to work with our church, from an education perspective. Each summer, several thousand children through teen agers attend our summer camps. This year, my wife and I have been invited to prepare a short presentation, a form of orientation for the camp counselors, on bipolar, behaviors to be aware of, mood swings, hypersexuality, etc., and unfortunately, it’s never the same for each individual.

    I plan to open our short orientation with your poem. I just wanted you to know it represents what I observed from the son we lost and observe of our youngest. I will announce you as the author.

    If you were to recommend one thing to the camp counselors, knowing that unless their mind could somehow be connected to one challenged with bipolar disorder, they probably won’t truly understand or grasp the experience anyway, the super-distraction of racing or obsessive thoughts, rejection, isolation or anything that really stands out for you, what would it be? Thanks! Our son’s name was Carson. People still leave comments on his personal Facebook page. His memorial Facebook page is: In Memory of Carson Chadnler Brooks.

    • Todd, My Condolences on the loss of Carson.

      Being Bipolar is indeed a struggle, no one could ever truly fathom what we go through on a daily basis, the rapid cycling of thoughts, the delusions, the incessant feelings of despair…

      If I could ask 1 thing of anyone it would be to have patience, not be quick to judge us, at times we can be our own worst enemy without even realizing it.

      At 37 years of age it is indeed a struggle, but with Gods guidance I am making it. I take it in stride and try to surround myself with inspirational influences.

      Some days are very dark, it is at those times I have to look deep within to find that 1 glimmer of hope, that 1 thing that can make me smile.
      Actually I have 3, my children. Whom hopefully were spared from having this disorder.

      If my words help but 1 person, I’d feel as if I won the lottery. Just to have them know they are not alone & someone understands what they are going through is enough for me.

      Thank you for the compliment. I’d be honored to have my words echoed.

      May your son’s existence not have been in vain, for through your pain, many may be healed.
      May Carson Rest In Peace,
      Be Blessed,
      Che’ xoxo

  2. It’s a *great blog*, and thanks for reaching out and helping others. 🙂 I found you on twitter, and I’m glad I did.

  3. Seriously Che, I have tried to understand things that has happened to me through my life and reading this has brought me to a new realization. Its not about me self diagnosing myself but I know that I am Bipolar. What is great now is to know that I am not alone and I pray that we will all make it through this lifetime with the constant fight against this disorder. God Blessings and thanks for such words.

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