Enablers

GM World!

I hope today finds you all in great health & spirits!
Yesterday I had the pleasure of talking with someone who was so inspirational, they moved me to tears.

In our conversation they broke down to me how more often than not we think that some one is being irresponsible & we are partially to blame.
I couldn’t see how this was possible as everyone should be accountable for their own actions, or lack thereof.

We as friends always want to help our friends in their times of need. We want to comfort them when they’re in pain, dry their tears when they cry, be their backbone when they need it.

What are they doing to help themselves? What are you allowing them to accomplish on their own? Ask yourself that question.

If you had someone to rescue you everytime the going got rough, would you able to weather any storm that came your way? Or would you expect an umbrella to be opened at the 1st raindrop?

Often times we care so much for others we don’t want to see them struggle so we swoop in and rescue them at the first sign of distress.
While most appreciate it, a lot begin to take it for granted. They act as if its your DUTY to help them.

When you continually come to their rescue they don’t have to become responsible. They have you to do it for them. If I had some one to rescue me I’d love it, but alas I don’t.

I know that I personally have been an enabler for way too long. I thought that by sparing others from stressing unnecessarily would aid in their growth. I was wrong, all it did was make them rely on the fact that I’d come to their aid.

I’ve even made excuses for their lack of accountability. Siting the fact that they’re going through a tough time & everyone deserves a break, that they’re just misunderstood.

I readily offered a litany of excuses in their defense. Their issues became mine, like I don’t have enough of my own to deal with.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t pay it forward whenever possible, but make wise informed decisions.

Then there are those that genuinely deserve to be helped. They are trying as hard as they might but the odds are stacked against them, yet they keep pressing on, determined to make it through.

They take nothing & noone for granted. They appreciate any kind words, gestures & support, be it moral or financial that comes their way.

Know that there are issues they must address themselves.
“It is said that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”

Sometimes the best way to be a friend is just by listening and or offering moral support.

I refuse to be an enabler anymore.
If you aren’t willing to help yourself,
Please tell me why should I?
Just something to think about…

Though we may have the best intentions at heart, enabling stunts ones’ growth.
Most learn from experience.
Afford them that opportunity.

Live, Laugh, Love & Learn
All the best,

I’ll remain hopelessly bipolar,
Che’ xoxo

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#EpicFail…

Hey all, its that time again…

Ok so its been a minute since we’ve had 1 of my now infamous rants…

I come to you with both barrels blazing!
I’m a lot of things, silly, funny, compassionate the list goes on & on, the 1 attribute not listed is phony…

I pride myself with standing out, I blaze my own trail, follow no one’s path but my own. To that end I bring you the ensuing saga of what is now known as my life, the bipolar experience…

So a few weeks ago I rec’d an email notifying me that I comments that needed to be approved, I made a mental note to check it out later on.

I was on my way to a meeting with a rather difficult client, so my mental note totally escaped me.

I got to my meeting & made it thru without any major mishaps!
Score 1 for Che’!

Had a teleconference with my team about a few new ventures and prospects on our horizon.
Score 2 for Che’!

So far so good. Handled some legal shit, my day is going well, can’t complain.
Tied up some loose ends, Superwoman is back! I’m living & loving life.

Checked my BB there are these messages awaiting my attention.
The 1st starts off and I’m paraphrasing great blog, yada, yada, yada…

***the exact comments are listed on my blog in the comment section of the post entitled my Dearest Da’Vvon***

So I read, then re read the comment. I laugh. This is hilarious. Someone needs a hug. That or a Xanax. I can’t decide.

I’m being told by “the now ex” that D is basically a liar *queue ex gf melodramatic music* and that he’s a player nshit.

Then she goes onto wish us luck nshit cuz she isn’t a hater n she hopes I have better luck than she did…

*Yeah whatever*

*~*~*Queue Sugar’s Entrance*~*~*

Listen ima keep it 110% with yall:
If dude played me, aint no way in tha world I’m gonna waste my time to stalk his bitch’s blog let alone attempt to hide my bitterness.

Don’t get it twisted, you can move on but still feel the bitterness towards that person. But this was love masquerading as idfk what to call it.

There was so much written. Like who da fuck has the time or energy to do that shit? I sure don’t. Quite frankly if we’re done, I hope his dick falls da fuck off & they catch every disease imaginable, named & unnamed!

I want the new Couple to be the enigmas that have the CDC Baffled! Real talk! No good luck n shit. What that was, was a failed attempt to be facetious!

GTFOHWDBS! Noone’s beat 4 ya lil games ma! 4real. Its sad when females can’t keep it real with themselves. You knew what it was. What you were getting into. You know what it is! Kick rocks n keep it da fuck Movin (Red Cafe Voice)

I always say Don’t play da game with a bitch that plays it better! Yall clearly not built 4 this. Don’t try it cuz you gon’ lose! Str8 like that. SMFH!!!

***Back to your Corner Sugar***

Not gonna give anyone any unnecessary shine, but the info is there, raw & uncut.
I’m done, just a word to the wise I’m not the 1. Please don’t let me be 😉

As always I remain, hopelessly bipolar,
Che’ xoxo

Taken 4 Granted

There is no worse feeling than feeling unloved, not being appreciated, of being used and taken for granted, taken advantage of, especially by loved ones, people that you care about and who are supposed to care about you in return, friends included.

Have you ever went out of your way to do something for someone, only to have them not appreciate it? Gone without so someone else could have something? Given your last? How about the shirt off your back? Then “they” the recipient of your generosity didn’t so much as offer a thank you?

Just acted like you were supposed to do it, like it was your duty, instead of a favor that you could have refused to do, but instead decided to move heaven on earth to make it happen for them.

I know, its not a good feeling right? I’ve been there before, way too many times… I’ll probably never stop being there, who knows…

Why do people do this? Is it simply an oversight? Or is it that they are hard-wired to truly be cold and unfeeling? Is it that they know no better? And showing their gratitude or lack thereof is simply a learned behavior?

Manners go along way. At times there simply is no possible way that you can aptly show how grateful you truly are for a favor, other than saying thank you.

As simple as the words Thank You may be, they mean more to me than singing my praises from the rooftops! I don’t need an ad in every publication known to man, declaring that I had done a selfless act. Actually I’d much prefer if it remained between the recipient and I.

If you knew me you’d know I’m a very humble person, despite being bipolar. If it can be done, I can do it. No question.

So my question to you is, do you stop being who you are because others are unable to appreciate you? Or do you continue to be yourself, because regardless of the reasoning they use as to why you do the things you do, we know you do it because you are a genuinely good human being. 🙂

For anyone that has ever experienced this please read my blog post I appreciate you.

Because, I do appreciate you!

Be blessed!
Che’ xoxo

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