I hope today finds you all in great health & spirits!
Yesterday I had the pleasure of talking with someone who was so inspirational, they moved me to tears.
In our conversation they broke down to me how more often than not we think that some one is being irresponsible & we are partially to blame.
I couldn’t see how this was possible as everyone should be accountable for their own actions, or lack thereof.
We as friends always want to help our friends in their times of need. We want to comfort them when they’re in pain, dry their tears when they cry, be their backbone when they need it.
What are they doing to help themselves? What are you allowing them to accomplish on their own? Ask yourself that question.
If you had someone to rescue you everytime the going got rough, would you able to weather any storm that came your way? Or would you expect an umbrella to be opened at the 1st raindrop?
Often times we care so much for others we don’t want to see them struggle so we swoop in and rescue them at the first sign of distress.
While most appreciate it, a lot begin to take it for granted. They act as if its your DUTY to help them.
When you continually come to their rescue they don’t have to become responsible. They have you to do it for them. If I had some one to rescue me I’d love it, but alas I don’t.
I know that I personally have been an enabler for way too long. I thought that by sparing others from stressing unnecessarily would aid in their growth. I was wrong, all it did was make them rely on the fact that I’d come to their aid.
I’ve even made excuses for their lack of accountability. Siting the fact that they’re going through a tough time & everyone deserves a break, that they’re just misunderstood.
I readily offered a litany of excuses in their defense. Their issues became mine, like I don’t have enough of my own to deal with.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t pay it forward whenever possible, but make wise informed decisions.
Then there are those that genuinely deserve to be helped. They are trying as hard as they might but the odds are stacked against them, yet they keep pressing on, determined to make it through.
They take nothing & noone for granted. They appreciate any kind words, gestures & support, be it moral or financial that comes their way.
Know that there are issues they must address themselves.
“It is said that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”
Sometimes the best way to be a friend is just by listening and or offering moral support.
I refuse to be an enabler anymore.
If you aren’t willing to help yourself,
Please tell me why should I?
Just something to think about…
Though we may have the best intentions at heart, enabling stunts ones’ growth.
Most learn from experience.
Afford them that opportunity.
Live, Laugh, Love & Learn
All the best,
I’ll remain hopelessly bipolar,